Episode 10: The Million Dollar Reward

Your horse just gave you the right answer. Now what?

Most riders nod and move on. Some don't even notice. And the horse is left wondering, was that it? Did I get it right?

In this episode, Kristi picks up where last week left off and unpacks the second half of the conversation — the part nobody really teaches you. The answering back. The yes. The reason your horse keeps trying, or quietly stops.

Inside this episode:

— The neuroscience of why your horse needs a yes (and what happens to his brain when he doesn't get one)

— Why the click and treat works, and when you can let it go

— The five-dollar reward versus the million-dollar reward, and how to know which one your horse actually needs

— The opposite-hand thought experiment that will change how you think about effort, reward, and motivation forever

— Two simple things to play with this week that will have your horse leaning in and offering more than you knew he had

If you've ever felt like your horse is shutting down, hesitating, or just not as enthusiastic as he used to be, this one's for you.

Take the free three-minute quiz at theritesystem.com to find out where you and your horse are at right now and what to work on next.

You belong here. We get it.

Transcript

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Welcome back to Hear Your Horse Podcast. I'm Christy Newman, your host. Okay, so last week we talked about the math class. Asking the question, waiting for the answer, letting your horse finish his sentence. And I've been getting the loveliest messages from people going, Oh my god, I caught myself, I waited, he answered. So today I want to talk about what happens next. Because there's a part two to this conversation that nobody really teaches you, and it's the part that makes the whole thing actually stick. Here it is. When your horse gives you the right answer, what do you do? Most riders, if we're being honest, do almost nothing. They go, Great, got it, next thing. Or they don't even notice he answered because they were already on to the next question. We talked about that one last week. But even the riders who do wait, who do hear the answer, a lot of them just sort of nod, you know, say, good boy or good girl, give them a pat and move on. And the horse goes, Okay, cool. I guess that was right. Maybe. I don't know. I'll try again next time and see what happens. That right there, that's where the conversation breaks down. Not in the asking, in the answering back. Here's something I've been marinating on. There's a whole body of neuroscience research about how humans learn. And the short version is we are dopamine machines. When we do something and we get a hit of feel-good chemistry right after, our brain goes, Oh, I like that. Let's do that again. That's how habits are built. That's how skills get locked in. That's literally how your brain decides what's worth repeating. And here's the thing: horses work the same way, same chemistry, same wiring. They are looking every single second for the answer to one question. Did I get it right? Am I safe? Because if they got it right, they want to do it again. If they're not sure, they're going to hesitate. If they think they got it wrong, they're going to start guessing. Or worse, they're going to stop trying. So when your horse gives you the right answer and you do nothing, or a little pat, his little dopamine system goes, hmm, no signal. I don't actually know if that was the answer she wanted. And next time you ask, he's going to be a little less sure, a little less committed. But when you mark the moment, at that exact second, he gets it right, his brain lights up. Yes, that, more of that. He files it away. He'll offer it faster next time and bigger and with more confidence. This is why we click and treat in the right system. Remember, it's reward-integrated training for Equines. The click is the marker. It's the photograph. It's saying that right there, that thing you just did, that's the answer. Here's your reward. The treat seals it in. His brain goes, Oh, got it. Locked in. We'll do again. And once he's learned the thing, once it's wired in, you don't need the click and the treat anymore. The reward becomes a softening of your hand, a wap break, a scratch, a little pat, a breath. All of those are rewards. All of them tell him, yes, that was it. The reward doesn't have to be food forever, but it does have to be something. Because no signal means no learning. And then we wonder why our horses seem confused or shut down. Okay, now here's where it gets fun, because not all rewards are created equal, and this is the part most riders miss. Imagine I came to you tomorrow and said, I want you to write with your opposite hand for the entire day. Every grocery list, every birthday card, every sticky note on the fridge, every form you have to fill out, every signature, with your non-dominant hand. Think about how hard that is. That takes concentration. If you've ever tried it, it is actually hard. Your hand cramps, it's slow, it's frustrating. You're going to want to quit by like 10 in the morning. And let's say I said, hey, if you do this all day, right, with this non-dominant hand, I will give you a pat on the back and tell you you did a good job. Are you gonna do it? Be honest. You're not. You're gonna be like, Christy, get out of my house. I have things to do. But what if I came to you and said, I will give you one million dollars cash if you write with your opposite hand for one day? Suddenly, suddenly, you are a student. You are tapping the pen with your non-dominant hand, you are practicing, you are writing the most beautiful opposite-handed grocery list of your entire life because the reward matches the effort. This is the thing about your horse. The size of the reward has to match the size of what you're asking. If you're asking him for something easy, something he already knows, like halting from a walk, a soft hand, and a good boy is plenty. That's a $5 question. He gets a $5 reward. But if you're asking him for something hard, a new movement, his first flying change, the first time he's been asked to step under himself in canter, that is a million-dollar question. And he needs a million-dollar reward. A click, a treat, a long walk break, a real big yes, that was it moment. Most riders give $5 rewards for million-dollar tries. And then they wonder why their horse stops trying. Of course he stops trying. The math doesn't work. So here's what I want to leave you with. Your horse is always asking one question. Was that the right answer? And every ride, you are answering him back either with a yes, with silence, or with another question on top. Yes builds confidence, silence builds doubt. A question on top builds frustration. And the bigger the try, the bigger the yes needs to be. So this week, two things to play with. One, the next time your horse gives you the right answer, even a tiny one, mark it. Out loud, in your body, with your hand, with your voice, with a treat, with a walk break, with whatever feels right. Just don't let it pass without saying yes. Two, pay attention to the size of what you're asking. If it's a big ask, give it a big yes. Don't hand out $5 pats for a million dollar effort. Match the reward to the try. I bet you something in your riding shifts this week. I bet your horse leans in. I bet you he starts offering things you didn't even know he had in him. And if you want to learn the whole system, the marker, the timing, the rewards, the way this builds a horse who actually wants to work with you, go take the quiz at the writesystem.com. It'll show you where you and your horse are at right now and what to work on next. No pressure, no homework, just a clear picture. You can also join our school community on school the school app, S K O O L. We're in there as well. We've just started that community and we would love you to join in. You belong here. We get it. The horses are out there trying their little hearts out. Let's make sure they know we noticed. I'll see you next week.